Ripping out the save and cancel buttons provided by Mendix is possible. If you don't want to use the standard save and cancel buttons, you could start writing your own save and cancel action triggers. The following actions are needed:
Save
In your customized save microflow you have to set the prefered values and associations by yourself. No standard logic is automatically handled.
Cancel
Probably in your case a rollback object activity would be sufficient in your customized cancel microflow.
If the case is more advanced, it would highly depend on the actions you would like to simulate in that microflow whether you have to use rollback or delete in your custom cancel microflow action.
Hope this will be helpful!
If you use a default new button of a datagrid and hit cancel, the datagrid should automatically refresh and thus the phantom record should dissapear.